What are things about narcissists no one tells you?
Here is something no one tells about: YOU.I am certain you now know how the narc. started the relationship charming, loving, full of energy to live for you, how they made you live the illusion, and you must have witnessed how fast that mask fell down, I am sure you know about the love bombing, the silent treatment, flying monkeys, gaslight, manipulation, mirroring, you are familiar with all those terms now, I know you now have finally got the last missing piece of the puzzle of abuse that you were desperately looking for all that time, haven’t you?Everyone here in Quora -myself included- just doesn’t get bored of detailing all this. For me, sometimes it is relieving to speak my heart out, to give advice and simple counseling out of my own experience, I feel good helping others with my answers, with each upvote I feel I had made a life of someone I don’t know even one bit better, or made them feel better for even a second, and it feels so good. Sometimes I write out of depression, boredom, or seeking some distraction from real life.Our similar puzzles that took too much time and effort seem to be figured out by now, don’t they? We finally knew what was wrong with our so called partners, we came to understand they were troubled persons with special traits for their disorder? We found it! Oh, how long that journey was! but actually the narc. piece was not the final one, there is that one final piece that we ignore, or see unnecessary to look for, that we claim the picture is now clear without noticing it is missing, this piece is YOU!Now, how about you?Where did all that leave you?What is the price you have paid for that experience?Go look in the mirror now and ask yourself:Who are you?Does this person in the mirror look recognizable?Or does he/she look odd to you?What happened to this face? These eyes?What happened to this smile?Who is that?For me, I almost can’t recognize him. Sometimes he appears scarred, scared, wounded, broken, helpless, lonely, sometimes even a miserable prisoner of his own thoughts and pain. Other times, he is free, liberated, accepting his faults, choices, and decisions that led him that way, willing to move on and live this new life he is now having.Sometimes the glow in his eyes is for the tears that easily make their way down his face, sometimes that glow is for the hope that make those smiles cover his face up.Sometimes guilt torments him, sometimes hope overwhelms his entire being.Sometimes flashbacks appear past his eyes and the same old conversations and situations keep replaying over and over, and he can’t make them stop. Other times he is busy and denying to live in the past and looking forward to the future.Something has changed forever! Definitely!The trauma caused by the narc relationship leaves us lost in the middle of no where, it feels like life has paused and time has stopped, and after the whatever step we took to end it, either no contact, break up, divorce, or whatever we finally chose to do to save what’s left of ourselves, we feel we are no longer ourselves, we are no longer what we thought we were, we haven’t achieved what we fought bravely and honorably for, the project of our lives has failed, and now we have to just start over, as if it is as simple as a flip of a switch!Beside all the damage the narc. caused us in many apsects, we lost ourselves, we failed ourselves, we brought ourselves down to our knees, with our own free will, remember how too many times you chose to turn a desire down for them? How too many times you made yourself invisible, your needs unimportant, your wishes unapproved, and just accepted all this to get turned down? And by whom, BY YOU? Remember how countless times you chose them and their annoying unexplained behaviour over yourself? Remember how you chose to prioritize them over yourself? Remember how uncountable times words couldn’t find their way out of your mouth when they really needed to be said? How many times you held and supressed your anger when you had every reason to rage? How many times your heart ached? HOW MANY TIMES THAT SIMPLE WORD “WHY?” tortured you? Remember how many times you chose to be selfless? Remember how many times you felt neglected and ignored?Remember how much you struggled to feel just enough and to win tiny bits of appreciation and approval?That is the one thing we don’t talk about when we are discussing Narcissism. YOU, how you lost yourself, how you turned down everything, neglected and ignored yourself in the process, how much you allowed yourself to get drained of your own human basic needs as a partner, and where all that left you.Why did you have that relationship? What were your goals at the kick off? Didn’t you need a shoulder to lean on? Didn’t you need a heart to beat for you? A warm hug to assure you? Someone who see the whole world in you and through you? Someone to catch you up when you are down? Someone to have fun with? To hang out with? To take stupid selfies with? Someone to share those pictures with, and hang them on the walls of your home? Someone to have children with? A lifetime partner for a lifetime relationship? At times, didn’t you feel the need to burst your anger? To cry a river? To laugh your heart out? To have mindblowing sex? At times, didn’t you need to feel like the superhero of someone’s story of life? Didn’t you need someone to be the superhero of your own story? Didn’t you need A HOME? A SHELTER?You were denied all this! And rather than that, you were struggling and fighting for a smile, a word of appreciation, a kiss, a sex session, till you became invisible and unrecognizable even to yourself! You ended up a begger! After giving up your own rich fortune of love and trust very willingly! And now this guy in the mirror is someone new you need to explore and establish a brand new relationship with, because the other one you used to see is no longer there!Now despite the fact that it was all the narc. dirty work, but you had your own very important role to get here, you don’t need to torture yourself anymore, and I am not emphasizing how guilty each one of us was to himself, in fact it is not important to determine whose fault that was anymore, you need no more answers or explanations, BUT it is a very fine line you need to draw, you need to see how did this happen, and how you allowed it to happen, and never ever repeat that mistake again!The damage done, it is terminal and irreversible, you lost a piece of your heart that is never coming back. That purity, innocence, white fragile, that unconditionally giving, loving, and trusting heart is no longer there, the piece you lost in this experience altered too much inside, and outside too! and you need to take your time and be patient before you start a new relationship, for if you couldn't heal properly, this lost piece will bring you the narc. ghost every now and then, it will be haunting you, making you question yourself at every step, and may probably block you and hold you captive, it can be like a curse. But either way, you are not the same person anymore.Heal, take time, gain self confidence and esteem, time and good will are going to give you that, be patient and always repeat this to the one the mirror : “You are your superhero, your story is about you first, you’re your all time number one priority, you are the most important thing for yourself. In order to give, you have to be given! and being a partner in a relationship is not necessarily about having equal 50–50 rights and duties, no the scale will not be that accurate most of the time, BUT DEFINITELY IT CAN NEVER BE 90–10 rights, or 10–90 duties!”Read it again! I am reading it again, for me, with you!Hope it helped.Mo.
How can I legally purchase a GLOCK pistol in the US?
Simple answer is: Don't break any applicable laws while doing it and you'll be good to go!Federal law requires that you be at least 21 years of age to purchase a handgun from an Federal Firearms License holding dealer, but in most states you will need to be 21 or older to legally possess a handgun no matter where you buy it. So, figure age 21 or older, and you'll be safe. Federal law prohibits certain people from possessing firearms or ammunition. The main one is convicted felons, but there are several other similar classes of people, the least of which is anyone who has been convicted of a misdemeanor domestic assault or abuse. Most state laws follow federal law in this regard. In some states, you must have a permit to acquire a handgun. Get it. It's no big deal. It's not a permit to carry, just to acquire. You must have it if you buy a handgun from an individual or even if you accept it as a gift if its from anyone other than immediate family members, such as your parents.After that, buy your Glock. Buying through an FFL dealer is your best bet, but there is generally nothing wrong from buying from an individual if you do it right. Preferably it's someone you already know at least some and have no reason to believe is selling it in bad faith. In other words, your best judgement indicates that it's probably not stolen or has been used to commit a crime with. If you're getting it in the case with accessories at roughly market price and the individual doesn't seem to be in an especially big hurry to sell it, you're probably all right. If he's selling it very cheaply and acts like he wanted it gone yesterday, that's not a good sign and buying from him once you've observed that could potentially expose you to culpability for purchasing a stolen pistol if the authorities come to believe that you should have known the deal wasn't legitimate.Once you purchase it, to be fully legal, I'd recommend lawfully taking it home with you. A locking tool box or a small suitcase, even a cardboard box well secured with tape should be all right. The key is that it's not readily accessible and too large to conceal on your person. Put it in the trunk or somewhere where you can't reach it while driving. Once you're on your own property, you can typically carry or conceal it any way you want with no problem.
What do Liberals/Democrats want to see happen to guns? What laws/restrictions do they want passed and why?
I am a liberal. I voted for Dukakis, for God’s sake. I am so far left that Bernie Sanders does not go far enough.Image: USNewsI don’t need to restrict firearms. There are tens of millions of other liberals to ask for that. I would like to see:National reciprocity for concealed carry permits. Wait for Heller to be overturned or a new Amendment for a rebuttal. Meanwhile, Heller should be enforced as surely as gay marriage, women’s suffrage and abolition of Black slavery.Allow private sellers access to the National Instant Criminal Background Check System (NICS). You want to require background checks for all firearms sales, including private face-to-face? Then individuals need free access to NICS like licensed dealers and law enforcement have. People should have this choice available to them already.Prosecute those who lie on background screenings. “In almost every case, these people can be prosecuted” (Politifact), but only 0.055% prosecution rate for those who fail. What’s the purpose of screening for prohibited persons such as convicted felons, if those prohibited persons are not prosecuted for breaking federal or state law by lying on forms? In my state, applicants must pay for their own federal background check and fingerprint check and registry. They shouldn’t.Uphold the thousands of existing gun laws against criminals, instead of penalizing law abiding citizens with new ones. If a violent felon is convicted to 15 years for illegal possession of a firearm, why are they now out to commit more crimes? (FAMM - Families Against Mandatory Minimums) Yes, keeping people out of the system saves money and may be good for families. So how does making more gun laws to break and creating millions more criminals with the stroke of a pen help? If you are willing to release a non-violent felon who illegally possessed a firearm because we should care about the impact on their families (FAMM), why do you want to jail a non-violent gun owner simply because he has a magazine that holds over 10 rounds?Increase penalties for use of a firearm in crimes. Sorry FAMM, and I do care about impacted family members of convicted criminals (FAMM - Why Should I Care?). As a liberal, I would increase social supports for underprivileged families so women and children do not need to be dependent on or stay with criminals, have convicts imprisoned within more reasonable distance of their homes, and allow/encourage family visits. With accommodations and family friendly events, even. If they don’t agree using an illegal handgun in commission of a robbery means an extra ten years on top of the robbery charge, perhaps criminals shouldn’t use guns or rob people.Free or affordable firearms handling and safety training to promote safer handling and storage of firearms, to avoid being a burden to exercise a Constitutional right, for the same reason people argue against requiring voter IDs for inner city minorities.Require secure storage of firearms to prevent access by unauthorized persons when not ready for immediate use. You sleep with your loaded handgun to be ready for a home invasion? I do. You keep an AR-15 or shotgun at hand at the computer? Sometimes. But I put them in the safe when I shower or leave home, because I’m the only one allowed to touch my guns. I have the keys for my safes and locks. I have private home security and various kinds of gun owner and liability insurance, too. If you can afford a $400 firearm and $18 a box for ammunition, you can afford a lock if one doesn’t come with your gun, or you can buy a small safe or clamp style cover for the trigger housing or action. Note: not electronic smart guns that fail when you need it.AR15 Lock, IC-Lock Ejection Port Gun Lock $27Image: ic13arms, eBay (I am not a representative or stakeholder of IC-LOCK.)Life Jacket Locking Firearm Safety Case LJ3 Shotgun Case $15.99Image: eBay (I am not a representative or stakeholder of Life Jacket.)I’ve taken time off work, and paid thousands of dollars to travel thousands of miles to go to the classes, taken the tests (100%), shot on the range (90-ish?), passed the federal background checks (in addition to all other background checks and random drug tests to be an education and health care worker), paid the fees, yet can carry a concealed weapon in only 33 states, and not my home state. What other Constitutional right does not apply nationwide?In my state at the time I first got my permit to acquire a firearm, state certified Hunter Education classes or other state approved firearms training (e.g. armed law enforcement or military service) were required prior to applying for a permit. The cost for the classes was normally $100, but the fee was waived due to a donation or grant. I was trained for free. Hell, if some donor is willing and able to shell out $100 per student, why can’t they give an extra $10 for a gun lock or $40 for a pistol safe? I bought my own 14 rifle safe and a pistol safe, but that was my choice.[Fun fact: at my hunter education class (2008), I noticed the older brother of a high school classmate in attendance. Purely by coincidence while looking at a sex offender registry much later, there he was. His listing is still current. Two counts, Sex Assault III, 2001. He’s a convicted felon and wouldn’t pass a background check.]Note I did not say, promote ownership of firearms. There may be firearms in 4 out of 10 homes in the US. Your children and loved ones are around guns accessible from other homes or while in other homes, regardless of lack of guns in your own home, vault like security for firearms you do own, or legal status of firearms in your community. Widespread firearms handling and safety training will have a societal benefit, even if it is as simple as children learning Don’t touch! Tell an adult! if they see a firearm unattended.
How do I fill out a W-4 form?
The main thing you need to put on your W-4 besides your name, address and social security number is whether you are married or single and the number of exemptions you wish to take to lower the amount of money with held for taxes from your paycheck. The number of exemptions refers to how many people you support, i. e. children. Say you are single and have 3 children, you can put down 4 exemptions, 1 for your self and 1 for each child. This means you will have more pay to take home because you aren’t having it with held from your paycheck. If you are single and have no children, you can either take 1 or 0 exemptions. If you make decent money, take 0 deductions, if you are barely making it you could probably take 1 exemption. Just realize that if you take exemptions, and not enough money is taken out of your check to pay your taxes, you will be liable for it come April 15th.If you are married and have no children and you make decent money, take 0 deductions. If you have children, only one spouse should take them as exemptions and it should be the one who makes the most money. For example, say your spouse is the major bread winner and you have 2 children, your spouse could take 4 exemptions (one for each member of the family) and then you would take 0 exemptions.Usually, it’s best to err on the side of caution and take the smaller amount of deductions so that you won’t owe a lot of money come tax time. If you’ve had too much with held it will come back to you as a refund.